I have never… WORN A MORPH SUIT

First IHN post!

So yesterday was just a regular, bog standard Wednesday. Except I wore a morph suit at work.

To clarify, I’m a performer and do lots of promo jobs when I’m between singing contracts. This sometimes involves dressing up. I’ve been a viking, a fairy, a princess, a fairy princess, Peppa Pig but never a morph before. This. Was. Different.


I knew it was going to be an interesting day when I realised it was too small for me. The label on the pack said it was only suitable for people under 5’4″. I’m 5’6″, and in something that tight two inches make all the difference!


For those of you who may not have seen a morph before, this is me getting zipped up:




The first thing I saw was just green. You can see in a morph suit, but everything is swamped in green, and I realised later that in bright sunlight you can only see vague shadows. Which in my case were various shades of green. Throughout my life, green has been my favourite colour. The walls of my teenage bedroom were green. I currently own 8 green dresses (yep, just counted them). When all you can see is green, you hate it more than food poisoning.

My job was to dance in the street for seven hours and create buzz for a new restaurant. So I was outside, and literally thousands of people walked past me in those seven hours.  Aside from one marriage proposal and three requests for my number, this is what people said:


“God, she’s really fucking creepy”


“Can you talk?”


“Excuse me, which way is Oxford Circus?”


“I can see your fanny”


“Nice arse”

“You’re brave”

“Aren’t you cold?”


“Can I see your face?”

In general people smiled, said hello and got on with their day.

By the end of the day I was sweaty all over – these things will definitely keep you warm! – and my nose was red raw from the mask of the suit rubbing so hard. Let’s just say I was relieved to take it off.


Cost: free (it was work)

Best bit: the amount of people I made smile

Worst bit: the vision impairment

Would I do it again? Only if I was paid to do it. For fun – definitely not.

Well, that’s it!! First blog done. Hope you enjoyed it, feel free to leave a comment and say hi! Next blog will be posted next week. Ciao for now!


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